I don't usually blog about my personal life beyond the casual ... I went out to a party sort of thing. But I thought this was funny. I decided to try online dating. I was bored and every single person I know has been on those sites at one time or another. I tried it back in the 90's when I got back from Nicaragua ... when the internet was still young and the only people online were geeks and programmers. Hey .. that's me!

Trying to avoid all my fellow geeks and programmers I found this site called FitnessSingles.com. I had run into this site a few years ago and since it was geared towards active people I thought that would be a good place to start. So the hard thing is coming up with a unique profile. Everyone says the same thing. They love children, kind to animals, work hard, love to travel and haven't met that special someone. It all seemed so silly. So I came up with my own profile:

Surfski

I am an amazing person. I dance, I run, I bike, I weave, I sing, I row, I climb ... and sometimes all at once. I can blow bubbles out my ears. When I'm bored I build suspension bridges in my front yard. I am an excellent cook. I cook 30 minute brownies in 10 minutes. Children love me. Animals revere me. And the elderly salute me. I'm artistically inclined. I paint, draw, and build decorative sculptures out of paper clips. I'm a writer, a poet, and an anarchist. I'm also petite, cute and well fit. I have been caller number nine and a can of tomato soup on Let's Make a Deal. I once discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. In short, and I am short, I can read War and Peace, wallpaper the dining room, and fix a gourmet four course dinner for all of your friends on nothing but a table top hibachi in the time it takes you to read this ad. I am occasionally very silly, slightly irreverant and artistically comical. And I believe that one good laugh deserves another.

......

My life is almost perfect ... except I haven't met you!

-Susanita

Here are some of my favorite responses so far:

• "Hello I am new to DC. I am not some type of pervert."
• "You are cute as a button and can do many trades but can you make passionate love to keep the man of your dreams coming back just for you."
• "You're hawt, you're a hawty, UR cute, UR a cutiepie, U da man, U da WO-man, Im hawt(oops, thats mirror talk). I also make a mean set of blueberry/banana pancakes!!! Whats in your pantry and what should I pick up? "
• "Wanna chat?"
• "Do you wear a MOP-suit when you row on the Anacostia River?"
• "I have had it it with living by myself full-time. Please take a look at see what you think. I'm a research pathologist and can beat up Tarzan."
• "Hello Susanita I can see you have confidence issues. Well My name is Rich;how are you?"
• "Hi Susanita, I love your profile. Gee, and I thought I was the only one who '... can blow bubbles out my ears.' "
• "Hi! Well, now you have met me...so your life is perfect!"
• "Wow, What a coincidence! You said you were an amazing person. So am I!"
• "you sure are full of yourself arent you"
• "Stunningly well done. I thoroughly enjoyed every word of it. I have a hunch you're a foreign spy (occupation=gov't). Thus, I'll have to pass (not being presumptious). Hopefully quality men are beating a cyberpath to your profile. "
• "Hi, ( holla) I liked ur profile , Did u see the suspension bridge in Milo France , where i come from? Ciao Bernard"
• "I noticed you are in government and your house is for sale. We have government in Ky. Well;..sort of. They call it "gubmint" there. We just got rid of one very crooked governor and the jury is still out on the new one. "

It's so hard to choose.

-Susanita